


ligament

by montecarlos



Category: Formula E RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, M/M, operation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 09:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11689209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/montecarlos/pseuds/montecarlos
Summary: Robin didn’t really want the operation. He didn’t want to be in a boot for four weeks, unable to walk. Things were further complicated by his situation - he didn’t know where he was going to be next year.Robin finally has his operation but the situation throws up some anxiety over his future, both with the team and with Ant.





	ligament

**Author's Note:**

> This was written very much on a whim, I was inspired by a conversation with Chesca about if Robin woke up from his operation to find Ant there - I saw the photo of Robin this morning in his hospital bracelet and I kinda wished Ant was there with him. Also, I am very sad about Robin's potential future so I wanted to write something with a little hope in it.  
> Enjoy! :)

Robin didn’t really want the operation. He didn’t want to be in a boot for four weeks, unable to walk. Things were further complicated by his situation - he didn’t know where he was going to be next year. Andretti had kept quiet throughout the entire process and Robin didn’t even know if he had a seat next year. He had tried to keep positive throughout the final race in Montreal, not knowing if it were to be his last. He didn’t want to leave Andretti, didn’t want to leave Ant behind. The thought of Ant having someone new as a teammate made him feel sick - that Ant would smile at them, that he would play around and make jokes and slide his hand around their shoulder to comfort them after a bad race-   
  
Robin checks his phone once more before he is due to head into theatre. His homescreen - a photo of him and Ant at the last race in their Andretti overalls - shows no new notifications. Ant hadn’t messaged him since he had got off the plane back in Maastricht. He worries that Ant has already forgotten about him, that he’s already moved on.  He tries to push the thoughts to the back of his mind - Ant wouldn’t do that to him. They’ve been through so much together, especially in the past year.    
  
Robin thinks back to his first season of Formula E - he’d been a different person then. He was shy and nervous and Ant had wormed his way inside, opening up a part of Robin he didn’t know he had. Robin had liked Ant that way even then. They’d danced around for the entire season in different teams, always finding excuses to be together, to spend time together. The second season had been very different. Robin had lost Simona to the golden sandy beaches of Australia and Ant was the one in her place, in the same blue of Andretti. They’d become closer in the opening races - they seemed to always spend time together. Robin felt his crush blossom into something more, but he’d kept it locked away, not wanting to compromise the team dynamic. However, something had changed in Mexico City. Ant had pulled Robin away from the party, a serious expression on his handsome face.    
  
“I need to tell you something,” Ant’s lip was caught between his teeth.   
  
“What?”   
  
“I think...I think I  _ like _ you,”   
  
Robin remembers how his mouth had dropped open. “What do you mean you like me?”   
  
“I  _ like _ you, Robin. Like more than a friend,”   
  
It had blossomed from there. It had begun with soft kisses, with Ant’s hand wrapping over his shoulder to release some of the tension before qualifying. However, it quickly progressed to something more. The kisses became more heated, hands slid further down mapping muscles underneath clothes. Robin remembers the first night they had sex - in rumpled sheets in Ant’s hotel room in Paris. The Eiffel Tower rose up in the skyline, illuminated by a thousand lights as Ant had pressed Robin into the sheets, his lips dancing over Robin’s jawline.    
  
“Do you think we could be something more?” Ant had asked Robin afterwards, as they lay in between the damp sheets, his hand carding through Robin’s hair.   
  
They had gotten serious after that. Neither of them have said the ‘d’ word, not wanting to create tension. But it didn’t matter. They were comfortable with one another. They spent all their time together during races - joking with Daniel or making short Instagram videos - before they retired back to a hotel room, their lips connecting together as once. Ant makes him feel good, made the season a little less dark for Robin. But as the curtain fell on Montreal, Robin couldn’t help but worry that the thing between himself and Ant, as undefinable as it is, was going to fade away. The thoughts come rushing back even now as he lays in the hospital bed, bracelet encircling his arm, paper gown sticking to his skin. Robin checks his phone one last time - no new messages - before slipping it away, trying not to feel too hurt by Ant’s silence.    
  


* * *

  
Robin feels a warmth in his hand when the anaesthetic slowly begins to wear off. His knee is sore - the painkillers are barely taking the edge off - and his eyes feel gummed together. A groan pushes past his lips and he feels a gentle squeeze against his left hand. He wonders who it is - his mom is away on holiday with his dad and Robin can’t think of anyone else that could be holding his hand right now, unless -    
  
He slowly opens his eyes, blinking to adjust to the sunlight streaming through the hospital window. Things are a little blurry at first, but Robin soon focuses on the figure sitting next to him. Ant is by his bedside, his hand enclosed in Robin’s with a small smile on his lips.    
  
“You’re awake, thought you’d sleep forever,” Ant says, his voice soft.    
  
Robin frowns. “Where am I? What happened?”   
  
A flash of worry appears in Ant’s eyes for a moment. “You’re in hospital. You had your cruciate operation,”   
  
“Oh,” Robin says, glancing down at their entwined hands. “What are you doing here?”   
  
“I wanted to see if you were okay. I was going to message you before you went into theatre but the flight was delayed and-” Ant worries his lip, his hand carding through his hair. “But the doctor said everything went well,”   
  
“I thought you left,” Robin says, his eyes fixed on Ant’s. His thoughts are still a blur, not helped by the haze of the lingering anaesthetic. “I thought you decided it wasn’t worth it anymore,”   
  
“Oh Robin,” Ant says softly. “I never thought that, not even for a second,”   
  
“It’s okay if you did think that, I’d understand,” Robin says, looking down at the pressed starchy sheets of the hospital bed.    
  
Ant squeezes his hand gently, his other hand moving up to gently push up Robin’s chin to meet his brown eyes. “You are always worth it. I wouldn’t be here otherwise,”   
  
“But we don’t have what will happen next-” Robin says, his lip caught between his teeth.    
  
“We don’t. But nothing is going to change between us. If it were up to me, you’d be here, right by my side,” Ant’s voice is soft, his thumb rubbing over Robin’s stubble. “I’m here and that’s where I want to be,”   
  
“Why?” Robin asks, trying to ignore the pain in his knee.   
  
“Because,” Ant hesitates for a moment. “Because I love you, Robin,”   
  
Robin feels his mouth go dry. He wants to question why, but he sees the expression in Ant’s eyes, how soft his touch is against Ant’s skin and he doesn’t doubt the words. Ant’s finger strokes over Robin’s chin, his brown eyes remain locked on Robin’s blue ones.    
  
“I love-”   
  
“It’s okay,” Ant says quietly. “There’s no rush to say it,”   
  
That’s enough for Robin. He can feel his eyes grow heavy - the combination of Ant’s touches and the medication is making him feel sleepy. There’s no need to rush it - the only thing that matters right now is that Ant is  _ here _ with him.    
  
“Go to sleep,” Ant’s gentle voice whispers. “I’ll still be here when you wake up,”   
  
Robin feels the squeeze of his hand and a smile appears on his lips. He doesn’t think of the future, of what might happen. He thinks only of that moment, of Ant and himself and of the future they will face, however uncertain, together. He feels the veil of sleep brush over his eyes and embraces it, not letting go of Ant’s hand.    
  
Ant smiles as he watches Robin’s face relax into a dreamless sleep. He’s not sure what will happen in the future but he’s confident that they fight whatever comes their way together.


End file.
